Preparing for the Funeral
Cremation / Burial
Grief Resources - Dr. Alan Wolfelt
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Think about it. This will be a time in their life they will always remember. Just how do you want them to look back on it?
We're confident you'd say you want them to remember it as a time of loving compassion; where the news of their loved one's death was delivered with kindness and understanding. That takes forethought. One aspect of thinking ahead includes avoiding the internet channels of communication during the first hours after a loved one dies.
You want to be very careful that this information is not broadcasted through Facebook or Twitter (or any other social media site), or via instant messaging, before you've had the opportunity to connect with family members personally.
Stop, Think.....and then Speak.
You know your family members, and chances are you can predict how each one of them needs to be cared for during this difficult time. Our best advice is that you walk into this situation with your "eyes wide open", and set the stage accordingly.
Should you call them in the middle of the night, or while they are at work, or school?
Only you know the answer. Family members deserve your clearest thinking on the matter of when you tell the news.
Then, you need to think about how you will break the news.It's preferable to deliver such news in person, but if that's not possible, a phone call will have to do. In either case, we have some valuable suggestions:
After the call is made, or the news shared in person, keep the lines of communication open. In the days to come, help your family members (to the best of your ability, considering your own grief) work through these emotions by encouraging them and reassuring them. Naturally, family members should support one another; so don't neglect to turn them for support as well.
Death, no matter the circumstances, is hard for us to handle. Keep in mind that the best thing you can do for anyone when informing them of a death is to deliver the news thoughtfully. Let them know that you are there for them and that you love them. That too is an essential truth they need to know.
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